Such a response has encouraged me to talk about other topics that I find disheartening or troubling. And what I find truly terrifying is a discussion about religion. In no way do I wish to cause offence, let me just make absolute clear on that, because my intentions are to share the troubles I have when discussing religion in a respectable manner.
Why I find it terrifying to talk about religion
I'm an Atheist, I do not believe in God or Gods, and as a fantasy writer you might find that hard to believe. Of course, I have Gods in my stories, many faiths that strongly believe in them and so on, but as a person living on Earth I do not believe in the existence of God. I was raised by religious parents, made to go to a Christian school, and preached religious ways. This did not make me feel bitter, but as a being that takes great interest in history, facts and science I found it quite difficult to believe in something high in the sky; but such questions did not make me announce that I was an Atheist. When my mother, whom still suffers today, was diagnosed with a brain tumour, I was shattered. My family went into a very dark period, the cancer was incurable, and as today my mother is fighting still. However, it was when people started to approach me and say they would pray for my mother when I felt the most confused. What exactly does that mean? Are they asking a God to cure her? Are they saying the situation is so dire that only religious ways can save her? Does it mean they're trying to cure her? Does it mean they do not believe in medicine, science and surgeons? Of course, I can see it as a will of good manners, just as people say good luck before an interview, but I was really confused at how helpful this was.
This is where my title begins to make sense. When I questioned a teacher that said this to me, in a manner of curiosity, she was taken back that I did not share the same belief that a prayer had any power. Being realistic, we hear about death almost everyday, and I am more than sure that people have prayed and have seen no success many of times. I never once prayed for my mother, and while my mother was upset and wanted me to pray, I refused. Of course that did not mean I did not want her to recover, but I knew that treatment was the only way of any chance of recovery. My teacher told me the power of prayer, how it can cure illnesses and protect people from harm. My mother has been religious her whole life, and has a litre of Holy Water in most rooms in the house, so why would she suffer from cancer? She's religious, she follows the ways, she prayed and prays today? It is silly to think about the question why she suffers, no God has inflicted this on her, and no God will cure her from it. It just happens. My teacher wasn't giving me any answer of sorts that made sense, so what did prayer mean?
My grandmother prayed for my mother, as I'm sure that other members of the family did also, but I saw no results whatsoever. My mother had treatment, lost her hair, looked pale and sickly for many months, was horrified of going bald, was told she only had years to live, where was the power of these prayers? This was when my friend tried to reveal the true fact that my mother was still alive because she was being cared for by God, and that the prayers were keeping her alive. I disagreed completely with my friend, and this is where I started to have a fear of disagreeing with the religious mass. I had offended him, and as a result he believed my mother would die because of my lack of faith. I do not believe for one second that a greater power is keeping her alive, or that prayers work. He was upset, but more offended that I was not thankful for his prayer. The reason for my mother pulling through the operation was because of the surgeons, and the doctors, and everyone involved medically in her recovery. Should she have refused medical help because of the power of prayer she would have been long dead, and that is a grim fact. I wanted to share just a little background to why I struggle with religious discussion today. A few of my family members, including my grandmother and mother, were absolutely appalled at the discovery that I did not pray.
Now back to the title to why I find religious discussion terrifying. Again, in no way do I go out my way to offend anyone, yet so much offence is caused, and why, because I ask questions. I know there are many people, both religious and not, that will go out there way to force their opinions on others, and my purpose is far from that. For example, and this is one reason I am considering quitting Faceboook, is that a lot of people share around these pictures of a man (supposedly Jesus) with writing 'I love God and God loves you. Only the good will share this picture, just you watch!'. Now I'm awfully sorry, but what exactly is that picture meant to mean? Does that mean that only religious people are good? Does it mean only Christians are good? Is it meant to give the impression that If I do not share the picture then I am sinful? And like many times, I simply ignore the picture, and chose not to engage in a discussion about the meaning due to fear of causing offence. Like I mentioned about my past, some people are sensitive about their faith and believe any form of discussion is an attack. There are many people like myself who like to ask questions, our intentions are not to offend.
However, when I see a picture of the same supposedly Jesus, with writing saying 'Follow me or burn in Hell' I find that absolutely insane. Imagine if I said the same thing about reading my novel, Cold Heart, 'Read my novel or you will all burn in a pit of fire for your ignorance'. More than likely people would find that amusing. Now, please do not mistake me, I am sure that there are lots of religious people that would agree with my statement that It's stupid, as I'm sure there are others that will strongly support such a statement that people who are blind to the faith shall burn; I know there are sides to everything. However, that does not change my opinion that I find it insane, and I will challenge this. When I asked my friend why it was acceptable for me to burn because I won't share his picture, he was taken back at my lack of faith, and accused me of being mean, and this was just the beginning of the discussion. He later went to say he finds our friendship questionable. At first I thought this was just a silly joke, surely no one was so sensitive about being asked just a single question? However, he was most furious, and asked me not to talk to him again. Now, this is a friend I used to get on with, quite well actually. And I find myself questioning myself whether it's worth actually trying to have a civil discussion about it? Is it worth losing friends because of a discussion? I don't want to lose a friend because of a discussion, yet it has happened in the past, and this is worrying. Should I keep silent to keep the peace?
Why is it acceptable for people to share pictures of a man with silly statements, yet when one questions that picture they are branded as offensive? No, it is not offensive that I am asking why I should burn because I am an Atheist, yet the troubles continued, but with another friend. I posted a video on my wall a few months ago about a young girl who was killed by her mother for not following the same faith, now, you will find plenty of those sort of videos, but the video I posted was in the format of being told by a newsreader. It was a short clip, and I typed a few words with the video stating that everyone has the right to an opinion, and better yet, an opinion that is respectfully put. Unfortunately, another friend was outraged at both the video, accusing it to be full of lies, and that my statement was hateful towards religious people. She swore at me in all capitals, and quite quickly I took down the post and deleted her comment because I felt horribly guilty about causing some one so much stress. I spoke to my friend in a private message, stressing that I in no way was trying to cause offense. She said I'm a bitter man, and ignored me.
A few days ago my friend posted on her wall that her mother had survived an operation because of the power of prayers, and she was most thankful to her friends, but more so to God; without him 'she would have died'. Her friends were praising God, thanking him for this wonderful miracle. Now, I was extremely delighted to hear of the success of her treatment, but I was curious to why there was no thanks to the hospital and medical staff? Just going back to the point about the prayers for my mother, prayers alone would have done 'bugger all' to help my mother. She would have been dead without medical treatment, that is a fact, and I am forever grateful to the team that helped her, and still help her to this day (and my father who has sacrificed everything just to look after her). So what I did was send a message privately to my friend, keeping in mind that a lot of her friends are praising God, the last thing I wanted to do was to disrespectfully agree with the mass, I shared my many congratulations on the success of her treatment, not once saying it was a miracle, but I also questioned why there was no sign of thanks to the surgeons that had worked on her mother's heart? My friend did ask me nicely not to ask another question like that, that it was disrespectful and bad timed of me to raise that question. Yet I thought to myself, why is it fine if people are saying miracles are wonderful, yet the poor medical staff that had worked many hours to save this woman had received not a single bit of praise? Of course, I dropped the conversation, I was absolutely relieved at the recovery, and decided that trying to have a civil discussion was not going to happen. Yet this is the same friend that many months ago told me that she questions my morals because I don't go to church. Now I'm leaving that for another post, but you might understand why I am confused at the acceptance of speaking positively about religion, but should you question it you will be given the cold shoulder. And this is what I have trouble with, we can speak freely about politics, the difference between parties and leaders, about finances and education, and even who is the best singer on X-Factor, yet when we speak about religion there is so much sensitivity and offence caused that I find it truly terrifying indeed, while at the same time I find it terrifying that I am hiding my opinion in the dark, what does that say about the future of democracy, the right to speak?
I have a few none religious friends, one of which feels afraid to speak about Atheism as well, due to the fear of causing offence. I really find this saddening, in the age of 2015 there are still people afraid to speak their opinion? I can't even speak to my family about why I am an Atheist because I get plastered with 'I was raised better than to ditch my faith in Christianity'. Many of times I watch debates on Youtube with none religious and religious people, and I read books on religion also. Yet I keep this all very private, and I am ashamed that I do not have the strength of, let's say, Richard Dawkins, who many of times debates openly about facts, and while at times he can say rather brutal speeches, many of times he does act the gentleman in his debates.
I don't want to lose friends because of religious discussions, yet it pains me to see my wall plastered with all of these religious stories and messages, and it pains me even more that I have to keep my curiosity in knowing why to myself. I feel guilty of feeling weak, and ashamed I lack the courage. I often question myself whether a truer friend would not accuse me of such hateful things, and perhaps I just have a lot of sensitive friends. Many times I tell myself that there is absolutely nothing wrong with asking questions, and if It causes offence then so be it. I know for a minute if I were to post the picture below I would be slaughtered by my many offended friends, and yet I know should they share a picture saying Jesus died for us all, and that we should be grateful, that they would find it perfectly acceptable.
I understand I could have written this much better, but I am speaking purely how I feel. Perhaps in the future I will write about religion in depth and question it without the fear of causing offence, but as of the moment I might just have to keep my opinions to myself, yet at the same time ... I can feel this great injustice, it's not fair, and perhaps I might question (in the same old respectful manner) these posts and my friend's beliefs.
Do excuse any errors you might have found, I like to write my posts quickly, and not like a chapter in my novel.
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