Breaking the cyber shackles

In other words, Facebook. I'm quitting Facebook for good and here are my reasons. Let me make my belief clear that I agree that Facebook is useful for specific uses, such as keeping in touch with long distant friends and family members, however, It serves me nothing but a big list of negatives. I think Facebook is personal; it works for some and doesn't for others, and for me it's been a nightmare. I've created a list of some reasons why I am walking away from Facebook.

Let me share a little fact before I begin. Did you know, according to TIME, 'one in  three felt worse after visiting the site', and THE NEW YORKER did an experiment where people communicated via mobile phones while using Facebook, and as the article reports 'The data, he argues, shows that Facebook was making them unhappy'. According to HUFFINGTON POST, Anxiety UK released a study revealing that 'over half of the social media users polled said Facebook, Twitter and other networking sites had changed their lives -- and 51 percent of those said it's not been for the better.', and if you're interested in personal opinions on no Facebook all you have to do is type 'I'm deleting Facebook' on Google and you'll be surprised at how many people are doing this. Facebook does have potential, the fact I can find information easily on charities or social events is appreciated, but that is as far as the positives go.

1) The Lack of Freedom of Speech 
It seems, especially as of late, that our freedom of speech is being questioned. All you have to do is look at the awful Paris attack to understand the sole reason was because the press released a cartoon of Prophet Muhammad, which caused violence due to offense. The same applies to Facebook; watch out what you say. People are extremely sensitive and should you disagree, the possibility of being branded with vile insults is likely. It's happened to me many of times. For example, when I refused to share a picture of a man, apparently God, with the caption 'Share if you love God or burn in hell for being sinful', I was branded as being ignorant and abusive. All I did was refuse to share the picture and explain my reason, In no way did I attack anyone's belief. Many of times I'm having to delete my posts and pictures due to the fear of offending some one. I don't have this trouble when engaging in physical communication, and I certainly don't appreciate it happening online either.

2) It Kills Social Time
It absolutely kills me when I'm out with my friends and almost all of them are glued to their phones with gormless expressions. I'm halfway through a conversation and It's obvious they're not paying attention. Now don't get me wrong, I take my mobile out too in case of emergencies, and I will reply to one or two messages at most; and only if they're important. However, I'm glad I'm not the only one to find this irritating, I have a few friends that share my opinion that It's pretty depressing seeing a group of friends tapping their phones in silence. I actually know of some people that text each other while near each other. Soon we'll be robots at this rate.

3) Useless Content 
We all posts things that are not interesting to other people. I often post quotes of positivity and motivation, charity events, updates on my writing and critique group, and sometimes how I enjoyed one of my social groups. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure there is some one out there that gets annoyed at my statuses; that's perfectly fine. My problem is when it's frequent. I would need to count my fingers, toes and every hair in my nose the amount of times I see people posting pictures of themselves at gyms, restaurants, or clubs. The fact that people take a 'perfect' picture of their meal really baffles me? I prefer my meals hot, but that's probably weird nowadays. Very rarely there are posts I admire, such as people doing charity runs, I absolutely have respect for those kind of people. However, and I'm not kidding here, there was one time where a friend posted a picture of her baby's poo with the caption 'It smells earthly, and I think it's healthy. It doesn't weigh a lot, but It smells normal. I'm so proud'. As you can imagine, I gagged on my beans and toast, something I looked forward to eating (especially with brown sauce, yum) but I found that pretty disgusting. What made me feel dead inside was that people were commenting on it saying how proud they were and how brilliant it was. So does that mean I can upload a picture of my poo and say how wonderful it smells? I can imagine the torrent of disgust. Another thing I don't understand is people posting hundreds of pictures of their holiday WHILE on holiday. I thought the whole purpose was to get away and relax? I'm all up for sharing holiday pictures when I'm back in sunny England but never when I'm on holiday.

4) You Rang?
Maybe it's because I'm an anxious person, but I have this feeling that I have to check my Facebook almost every minute of my life just to make sure I've not missed a message. I get a lot of messages each day, and I hate the feeling of ignoring people. Yet I feel like I'm actually on call, a never ending role where I must be glued to my seat and reply at once. It's getting that bad that I've been accused, quite angrily too, of being ignorant. I remember one time when I got home late, I logged in on Facebook and was let down when I saw that a friend was angrily accusing me of being ignorant. What's worse is the green icon now, I often will look at a message but it will take me a while to reply, I'm either writing a chapter, or I'm about to dash; or something. More than not I reply 'I'll be back with you in a minute'. I can't help but feel like a secretary? Actually no, a prisoner would be more descriptive.

5) Strangers! 
Everyone has had that experience where some one unknown has added us. They might have a shady looking profile picture with hardly any information. I never accept them, and while I like forming new friendships I can't help but feel uncomfortable. I mean, they could at least send a message with something to let me know why they want to add me and who they are. Then there are those people that work in local stores, that never smile or greet me while I'm handling my money over for my goods. I accepted one of the friend requests, we didn't speak a single word, and when I walked past her on the street I smiled and greeted her, and I kid you not, she looked as though I had just told her that I mate with rubber duckies. In complete silence she walked on by. So unless I'm mistaken, she added me to do what exactly? Maybe she was an assassin, in which case I best get myself some armour.

6) We hate people! 
I'm so ashamed at the amount of racist and homophobic posts that appears on my newsfeed. It was only yesterday when I saw a post about deporting every black person in the United Kingdom. I thought this was tasteless and ignorant. I was surprised to see this appear on my news feed and I instantly wanted to challenge her. And people will believe almost everything! Seriously, if I got a picture of a rough looking woman and typed 'She is on benifits, and enjoys playing Rugby on the XBOX while you're working super hard, share this to end benefits' you would have a torrent of people believing it. It's absolutely terrifying how people will believe in this nonsense. I have never once seen any of my friends come up to me and do something of the like. It's as if Facebook changes how people interact? It goes beyond that, and this is pretty much the entire internet, but people can type such abusive comments without any fear of prosecution, and that's a tricky debate because I believe in freedom on the internet, but I will admit it has its flaws. Getting back to my point, however, all you need to do is go on Youtube and you will see hundreds of terrible comments. Sadly I see this on Facebook also, and reflecting on my physical life I hardly see any of this, and if I did I would challenge it. Somehow, Facebook strips me off that ability, and instead feeds me utter nonsense. 

7) Changing The World
Now don't get me wrong here, I am extremely passionate about making a positive difference, and the fact that Facebook makes information and events accessible is one, and if not, the only quality that I like. And while I know that social media helps create awareness for many good causes, I can't help feeling dissapointed at the illusion that liking a post is going to make a difference. That's right, I know a few people that honestly believe that liking a status will make a difference. I remember when a charity posted a picture of an abused dog. It said to share the picture to CREATE awareness, and so I followed that. Some one liked my status and expressed how awful it was that people were so wicked and that they wished it would stop. So, out of curiosity, I asked what they were going to do about it. They were confused at my question, and made it clear that they're helping already, whether I had seen their like. I replied calmly that liking a status doesn't really do bugger all, and the entire conversation went down the wrong direction and I had apparently caused offense. Another hate I have, and I absolutely hate this, is that people brag when it comes to donation. I've been volunteering since the age of eleven, and never once have I bragged about it. Yet not long ago was an Ice Bucket Challenge, and my wall was flooded with people sharing texts stating how much they donated. No, that did not encourage me to take part whatsoever, all I felt was the feeling that people were being smug. You do things out of kindness, not to be idolized for being generous. Comparing this to my physical life, I know of people making great sacrifices to help charities, and not once do they brag, and for that they have all of my respect.

8) I'm Worthless
I could be having a wonderful day, and when I get home to log in on Facebook I'm filled with hate for myself. My positivity is destroyed and my energy turns into sadness. We've all posted our successes, though some do it far more than others. I don't brag about my achievements, or what I bought or what was bought for me. I tend to keep that to myself, however, when I see every single day that a friend is getting married or is going to be a parent, or they're moving to America, or they're going on a 2 month holiday; I can't help feel compare their situation to mine, and It's absolutely silly to do this, but I begin hating myself. I forget about what I'm proud about and nag myself that I'm not good enough and this is why I'm not doing these sort of things. Then, when I leave Facebook, I literally have to bash it in my head that I have achieved a lot, and I'm very - very proud of myself. I never used to doubt my abilities but when I joined Facebook that changed, and I hate it so much. Please don't mistake this for jealousy, I am proud of many of my friend's achievements. What's worse is at Christmas. I know some people that will upload a picture of every-single-gift. I actually don't log in on Facebook when It's Christmas, I really - really cannot stand the need to brag about gifts. I guess this point makes me sound bitter, but as I previously said, I never used to compare my life to another, and It's wrong I'm doing this.

What Facebook really boils down to is how it makes me feel. As I said previously, I can have a fantastic day, log in to Facebook and feel worthless, ashamed, embarrassed, and lonely. When I have told my friends I'm quitting Facebook they persist I stay, that I should disable this, and get rid of this person, and remove that and this; what is the point in all that effort to keep something that isn't working for me? Why do people feel the need that Facebook is essential? My life was so much better without it, and I found myself to be a better person before it. I had less worries, anxiety and troubles. I was reluctant to join Facebook a few years ago, but I gave in and I regret it so much. It's done nothing positive at all. Facebook might work for you, and that is great, but personally it's been nothing but a tomb of troubles. I will be deleting Facebook soon, and I'll post another blog of the changes to my life. To any of my friends reading this, you have my details and you know where I am. Let's go out sometime with no mobiles, that would be nice. It's time to start living again!

Please excuse any typing errors, I like to casually edit my blogs. This is based on my personal opinion of Facebook.